When there are a million things going on in your mind and you can't even hold to one! What would you call it? When the day just disappear into thin air and you spent your nights sleeping so even they don't exist. What does even existence mean? Shallow living and deep talks! Or is it just another way to fool the world or fool yourself?
You are searching for solutions and answers everywhere but it isn't easy with what is going on. You want to take charge of your life but not with the set terms and conditions. But who will let you decide it? Nobody. And if you can, then trust me you are one of those lucky people who have this much Independence and freedom not necessarily in every field but just where it is needed the most. I never want you to take it for granted because those who have it never value. I knew precisely what I was getting and I was thankful for it and still, I am. Also, at the same time, I do know what I lack and how it is affecting me.
One wrong decision and your life will fall apart. In my case, it is falling piece by piece letting me feel the intensity of every hit. Do you know how does that feel? You don't because you become numb in the process. You want to feel things but you just can't. You can't call yourself mortal as you have lost that right. You are just a living body because your soul has left long back. When someone holds your hand you don't feel the warmth. Their reassurance means nothing as nothing is going to change. You just sit in a corner and close your eyes and beg yourself to go into a deep sleep because that's the only solace at the moment. But you know what, even dreams won't let you sleep peacefully by presenting scenarios you fear and making them real all the more.
What would you do then?
You are searching for solutions and answers everywhere but it isn't easy with what is going on. You want to take charge of your life but not with the set terms and conditions. But who will let you decide it? Nobody. And if you can, then trust me you are one of those lucky people who have this much Independence and freedom not necessarily in every field but just where it is needed the most. I never want you to take it for granted because those who have it never value. I knew precisely what I was getting and I was thankful for it and still, I am. Also, at the same time, I do know what I lack and how it is affecting me.
One wrong decision and your life will fall apart. In my case, it is falling piece by piece letting me feel the intensity of every hit. Do you know how does that feel? You don't because you become numb in the process. You want to feel things but you just can't. You can't call yourself mortal as you have lost that right. You are just a living body because your soul has left long back. When someone holds your hand you don't feel the warmth. Their reassurance means nothing as nothing is going to change. You just sit in a corner and close your eyes and beg yourself to go into a deep sleep because that's the only solace at the moment. But you know what, even dreams won't let you sleep peacefully by presenting scenarios you fear and making them real all the more.
What would you do then?
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